First off, for anyone who reads this, I'm a bit sorry. My posts tend to be all about me, given what else would someone expect form a personal blog? But still, it always seems a bit self-centered to write all about my life and half the time know nothing about anyone else. I guess what I'm attempting to say, is that if anyone ever needs an interactive diary, I'll be there to listen.
For anyone who cares for music: a song that has been stuck in my head the past couple of days is "Jolene" by Ray LaMontagne. His voice is rather soothing if I say so myself, and the lyrics are a sort of tragic beauty.
And now to connect back to what this whole post is about.
Tonight I attended the Chanhassen Speech and and Debate banquet (I was on their debate team). Afterwards I got to talking with my former discussion (a category in speech) coach, Mr. Haffner, and I got his words of wisdom and advice for the world after high school. The ones that stuck with me were "you can always reinvent yourself." I mean just think about that for a moment, how many times you've evolved as a person to become who you are today. How whatever happened in the past, good or bad, shaped every aspect about who you are. For me, I think about how much I have evolved and matured emotionally. Once upon a time I was terrified of feeling anything, then I began to and wound up getting hurt, then went to wishing feelings didn't exist at all. (The last phase didn't last as long as either of the other two did.) I'd just say that I have been at that point where I have experienced so many emotions that maybe I finally understand them all better. The song I mentioned earlier? There's this lyric, "still don't know what love means" and it somewhat haunts me. Because in short, I once thought I knew what love was, until I woke up and saw every reason why I didn't really, but whatever, life goes on. Because whatever is in the past, you absorb as a component of your make-up and no matter what it's going to impact you somehow. How that impact affects you, is how you reinvent yourself.
That felt emotionally loaded. Gross. I usually try to avoid anything that invokes too much emotion, it's just too risky and not my thing. So, on a lighter note.....Life is pretty great. I went to prom with one of my best friends, she is quite literally like my sister, she's the one who's been there to talk to me at 2:00 in the morning, who's offered to let me come crash at her house when I just need to get out of my house, who's encouraged me to do some of the most ridiculous things--none of which I have regretted, who is just as excited about positive things in my life as I am. Yep. And I really liked my dress for prom. I need excuses to wear it places. If you have ideas, let me know. I'm really looking forward to summer! Then again, who isn't?! I'm excited for all the memories I intend to hopefully make. I'm hoping to order a human osteology textbook and some Shakespeare for summer reading (I love love love A Midsummer Night's Dream). And overall I am so thrilled to start studying anthropology as a focus this fall! That's all I've got for now.
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