"One foot in sea, and one on shore" -Mumford & Sons

     I woke up today. Kind of like I do every other do except I slept on the rug on the floor last night. It was oddly comfortable. But I also woke up with this total light-bulb-going-off-I-am-Einstein moment. It was as if this weekend reality slowly began catching up with me and this morning it was there, full force, not hidden, blunt as daylight. Now maybe I should explain how one, or at least I, lose reality. Up until this weekend, college felt like an entirely new life. A tabla rosa, a blank slate. I got to recreate everything, I had no past, I was a stranger to everyone I saw. It was weird, kind of exhilirating to realize that you truly could be whoever you wanted because know one knew your past. But I suppose I also got wrapped into that forgetting myself that I had a whole life before Hamline. Not that I had entirely forgotten everything, it just felt so distant with how much of what was becoming my life was a mystery. And there was a lot. The first couple weeks (and even still now) you set your tempo and schedule for this new chapter of your life. It doesn't leave much time for thinking or even really breathing. But then today it was as if I had that time to breathe and almost too much of it. I guess I got that first real pain of homesickness. I missed my parents and brother and dog and home. You realize that college is somewhat of a lonely place until you're really settled in. You are an adult on your own in this strange world. So that doesn't focus much on how rattled I felt today, but it builds up to it.  And so to quick cut to where the title comes from, it's sort of how I feel. In two polar places at once. Loving my new reality and remembering and missing (like hell) my old reality. From here is where I think I'm supposed to begin to learn how to mesh a balance of the two until they finally morph to be one and it's just all the same thing. I'd say the beginning of that started this weekend and I look forward to perfecting mixing the two into some glorious harmony. Somewhat unrelated, but still important to me. I have some huge thank yous to give, first off to all of my friends not at Hamline. Despite distance, they're all still there for me, it's incredible and love you all so much. Then to all of the new wonderful people I'm meeting at Hamline: they're incredible and I'm proud to say I go to college with them. I've met so many nice and friendly people here! I guess to summarize that: thank you everyone that is in my life for being in it. <3 p="p">
And a special thank you to my roommate, in short: she keeps me sane :)