Why am I allowed serious thoughts at such late hours?

      I'm pretty certain that after watching some random indie chick flick alone with candles and tea I really shouldn't expect any happy-go-lucky thoughts from myself. What I can expect however is myself to think. Think about why we don't seem to find that perfect, only in a movie ending. (You know, like the one I of course just watched on Netflix).
     It's those endings that seem so pefect that leave us going over and over and over in our own heads all the nearly perfect endings we thought we had. Which given, at eighteen it's not as if I have had many of those. Clearly. But there have still been people where I thought things would have ended better than they had. I realize how many reasons it really didn't work and really never was meant to. Wake up to mistakes I had made (or finally seen mistakes they had made) and know that whatever they were, I won't repeat them. Maybe we eventually learn from each unsucessful movie-ending in our own lives which wrongs we can't live with and which mistakes are right for us to make. That perfection will never be reached and we're left with this mix in the middle, that while it may have plenty of plot twists, it's what we're content to have found.
    On another note, it's 1:30 in the morning. And while my first semester of college has left me with many  life lessons learned and thoughts to ponder, they're better left for a later date when my thought process is closer to coherent.