Why am I allowed serious thoughts at such late hours?

      I'm pretty certain that after watching some random indie chick flick alone with candles and tea I really shouldn't expect any happy-go-lucky thoughts from myself. What I can expect however is myself to think. Think about why we don't seem to find that perfect, only in a movie ending. (You know, like the one I of course just watched on Netflix).
     It's those endings that seem so pefect that leave us going over and over and over in our own heads all the nearly perfect endings we thought we had. Which given, at eighteen it's not as if I have had many of those. Clearly. But there have still been people where I thought things would have ended better than they had. I realize how many reasons it really didn't work and really never was meant to. Wake up to mistakes I had made (or finally seen mistakes they had made) and know that whatever they were, I won't repeat them. Maybe we eventually learn from each unsucessful movie-ending in our own lives which wrongs we can't live with and which mistakes are right for us to make. That perfection will never be reached and we're left with this mix in the middle, that while it may have plenty of plot twists, it's what we're content to have found.
    On another note, it's 1:30 in the morning. And while my first semester of college has left me with many  life lessons learned and thoughts to ponder, they're better left for a later date when my thought process is closer to coherent.

Figuring out Life in College : Check

Life in college in a one word summary: busy. But multiply busy by at least fifty and that's what it feels like. I really enjoy blogging when I have something worthwhile or meaningful to say but it's felt like I either don't have time to or don't have time to deeply think about anything too meaningful. And what there is time to think of in that manner is more of the seriously personal stuff that there isn't time to share.

Recently I've caught myself wishing more people would take on a positive perspective on life. Forgive the past, enjoy the present, and be grateful for whatever the future holds. But I have to admit that while I wish more people saw the world this way, I don't at times myself. And then I have to wonder is it fair to preach something you don't practice? Can I wish everyone else was more positive when I know I myself falter here at times too? Maybe always having a positive outlook is possible, it just takes time. Change the "always" word choice to a "95% of the time" because everyone does have their bad days. It's inevitable enough. The long, drawn out point I'm getting to is that I wish people made more of an honest effort to see something good in everything. I figure it'd make life that much more enjoyable I've personally found that I have better days on the days where I allow even the smallest of things, like eating a grapefruit at breakfast, to make me happy.

Another big thing I've concluded in college is like being busy. I can't imagine what college life would be like if there were lots of large gaps of free time. Constantly having something to prepare for or go to has helped me feel like I'm really in college and starting a lifestyle that will hopefully reflect how my life in the future will look. I would say more, but what I have said is all I have time for tonight!